Accountability Friends (not a bad option)

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." -- Ecclesiastes 4:8-12

I first listen about accountability friends as a spiritual practice in a Christian book, I can't remember the title though. The idea seemed awesome: A few men getting together to share their lives. (experts say that from two to four is an ideal number.) Guys getting to know each other beyond the casual and superficial; beyond "sports and the weather." Brothers allowing themselves to be challenged, and held to a higher standard than the world would dictate. Men being honest with each other about their struggles and shortfalls. Guys praying together, and for each other. Brothers growing together toward Christlikeness, reaching their full potential as men of God. And all of this takes place in an atmosphere of love and acceptance, without judgment. "How good and pleasant it is, when brothers live together in unity!" (Psalms 133:1)

For many, this idea is a little threatening because we are tougtht at home by our dads to be responsible for yourself and your actions.

WHY ACCOUNTABILITY?
A common question men ask is why? Being the independent creatures we are, the idea of "needing" other men in our lives does not sit too well with us. Guys do not want to rely on anyone else for anything.
A couple of factors that keep men from developing close relationships are pride and fear. Do you ever have trouble admitting when you have made a mistake, or that you are wrong? I do. When we get into "vital" relationships with other men, it will ultimately require us to be vulnerable and transparent, and to admit that we have faults and problems. And that can be quite uncomfortable for most men. "I don't need anybody else!" Sound familiar? I spent most of my life believing that. But, time after time, the Bible shows that "It is not good for the man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18) I do not believe God was simply referring to a man's need for a wife. I believe He was stating our need for each other in general.
The Bible is filled with examples of vital relationships among the great men of God. Moses had Aaron. David had Jonathan. "And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself." (1 Samuel 18:3) David said "I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." (2 Samuel 1:26) Paul had Silas, Timothy and Titus, to name a few. In fact, once Paul was led by God to witness at Troas, but he did not, because he would not go there alone: "I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there." (2 Cor. 2:12) Jesus had the twelve, and an even closer relationship with Peter, James and John. Do you see that all of the men God used to do great things had vital relationships with other men? They recognized the need for each other. They did not try to go it alone. Even Jesus, who was fully God and fully man, recognized the importance of vital relationships.
One of the great benefits of accountability is that you will look at your life more closely than ever before. It will raise your awareness of things that, before, you did not think twice about. Eventually, your actions and behavior will change, as you share your struggles with other men, and pray about them together. You will often be relieved to discover you are not the only one who struggles in a certain area, and together you can learn to overcome it. This is where "iron sharpens iron."

Suggestions for Initial Areas of Accountability:

• Prayer life
• Bible reading/study time
• Integrity issues
• Spending time with the family
• Laziness
• Work issues
• Harboring anger or resentment
• Exercise, dieting
• Things shared previously

One of the benefits of accountability is that often you will find that you are not the only one who struggles in a particular area. Then, knowing you are not alone, you can help and encourage each other. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)
An additional benefit of accountability is that you will have one or more men who are willing to listen as you talk about what is going on in your life. Without judgment. Without the fear of gossip. With love. With acceptance. With patience. And you will have the benefit of feedback and godly counsel from your brothers in Christ. "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel." (Proverbs 27:9)
A good question to reflect on and then act upon: Who is your accountability friend when it comes to your spiritual life?

Most of these ideas were taken from:
http://menofredemption.wordpress.com/2011/06/27/accountability-vs-friendship/ and
http://www.menofintegrity.org/articles/accountability2.html